A Bigger Turkey?
Norma realized that she was going to have some extra out of town guests. She ran into the grocery store looking for the biggest turkey she could find. As she frantically went through the selection of turkeys, she stopped a stock boy and asked, “do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “Well, no ma’am, they are dead.”

The Essay Contest
Young Meredith, happy to be in the fourth grade, was asked to write a composition in honor of thanksgiving. The theme of the composition was “What I am thankful for on Thanksgiving.” After a good amount of consideration, Meredith wrote, “I’m really thankful that I am not a turkey.”

Pilgrims and Indians
After learning about the First Thanksgiving, young Timothy came home, hopped up in his Daddy’s lap as said, “Dad, did you know if we were Indians, you would be brave and Mom would be a squawk?” “Well son,” Dad replied, “that’s actually a pretty accurate description of your mother!” (as he ducked to avoid getting smacked).

Thanksgiving Values
Grandma sat down with her Grandchildren so that she could share with them some historical and long standing traditional thanksgiving values. She pulled out a Thanksgiving card which had a painting of the pilgrims.

She said, “Now see the Pilgrim children ENJOYED going to church with their mothers and fathers and giving thanks to God.”

After a moment of looking doubtfully at the picture, the youngest grandchild spoke up and said, “If they liked it so much, why does their Dad have to carry that gun?”

The Parrot and the Turkey
Margaret, adopted a parrot named Kimba. Kimba was a cursing parrot, probably from his days in the Navy. Normally, it wasn’t a problem but he was coming up on his first Thanksgiving in his new home, Margaret was a little nervous of being embarrassed in front of her in-laws. All morning, Kimba had been cursing like a sailor and Margaret decided to take drastic measures. She placed Kimba in the freezer for 2 minutes to get him to “cool off”, literally. When she pulled him out, she also pulled out the Thanksgiving Day turkey. She said, to Kimba, “I hope that teaches you a lesson.” Kimba replied, “It sure did but what did the turkey do?”